Gladly Polygamous.

Yesterday in class, during a free period, I was trying to get some reading done when I heard Khadijah tease a fellow Muslim classmate about her friendliness with a male married class mate.

She said to her, Uncle is married oh abi you want to be a second wife?

Aunty replies her; there is nothing wrong with that after all my religion permits it.

Khadijah: So you won’t mind sharing your husband for that reason?

Aunty: I am prepared for anything.

Khadijah: But you have to pray or say what you want, after all even the prophet’s wife prayed against her husband marrying another woman.

Aunty: But after she died, didn’t he marry many wives?

Uncle at the center of the debate then asks; but it is permitted isn’t it?

Khadijah: It’s not like it is permitted but because it is mainly the male gender who go get this Koranic knowledge, they tend to pick out the part that suit them and leave the ones that don’t.

Uncle: So what are the ones that don’t?

Khadijah: Well other than a man should only marry if he is financially stable to have more wives, he should also not love one more than the other, then he should only marry another woman if his wife is too sick to meet his sexual needs and if her “libido” is not as high as his.

At this point I ask if “libido” is stated in the Koran. Well they think I am serious about my butting in and start explaining to me the terms used translated to modern day English is libido. I thank them for the enlightenment and they return to their discussion.

Khadijah to Aunty: So what do you mean by you are prepared for anything?

Aunty: Let me tell you the story of my mother.

My mother was a businesswoman when she met my dad. She paid for my dad’s education, trained his six siblings in school, built a house for them in his name and sent him for his first Hajj.

At this point I was interested in the gist, I ask what happened?

Aunty: Well he brought in another wife then he later sent my mother away from the house she built.

At this point the whole class who had been listening with half ears while not contributing, shouted “AHHH!”

Khadijah: Where is your mother now ?

It is said that only reciting this word three times by the man, a divorce is sealed.

Aunty: She is on her own living fine. My point is if she had this mentality that she was prepared for anything, polygamy and divorce would have been a possibility in her mind and she would have directed her actions with such in mind.

But my mother could never have imagined her husband could cheat on her not to talk of marrying another woman nor divorcing her.

She always thought it was “She and her Husband forever”.

Khadijah: But what really happened?

Aunty: Well I will say he was under the influence of his step mother.

Me: Which kind step mother? How old is he and how old is the step mother? Which kind gross immaturity is that?

Khadijah: How did he come into such a spell bondage?

Me: She didn’t say it was a spell!

Khadijah: It’s a spell I would call it.

Aunty: Yes it was a spell. It is as a result of wanting something you are not supposed to have.

Khadijah: Very true

Aunty: My mum isn’t from Nigeria, dad’s step mother didn’t want him to marry someone outside their tribe but he insisted on doing it. Guess it was the way he fought to marry her that made my mother trust him so much.

Wasn’t as mixed as this though as it was simply from two neighboring countries.

Me: Hmmm

Aunty: So now as the step mum is showing(being mean or wicked) the new wife, I am just smiling and watching.

At this point I decided to go use the restroom. I had heard enough. I however took permission from Aunty to share her story.(by the way I have always imagined polygamy as one man having threesomes and foursomes, even fivesomes legally! Lol)

They like gist in my class too much, later in the day, they debated on the fine imposed on “Busola Dakolo” in the rape accusation on a Nigerian Pastor.

I will not help you deduce any lessons from the gist Aunty provided above since there is no way for me to balance out the story, abi make I go ask the spell casting step mother her side of the story? 🤣 So let me simply drop it as it is hot with the sensational approach.

Keep Following @mysurrogatetwins on instagram for real time updates on my journey to motherhood.

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