Submit Unto Death.

I saw the above post and it got me thinking. Is there any truth to what he says? And then I look around me to what I see and hear daily, even to what I have experienced in my marital relationships.

I was at a support group for Rape and abuse victims recently, there I heard a story that shocked the daylights out of me.

So this lady was married to a Pastor, many years married, they had young children between them. Then she falls ill with breast cancer and needed a lot of money for surgery. Monies they didn’t have. Friends advised her to put out support requests especially considering she had friends who knew some philanthropists.

Her husband rejected the a suggestion on the basis that it would be a slight to Christianity and the church he ministers. He also didn’t ask for financial assistance from the church he was with despite it being a big church with branches world wide and he being high in the ranks.

Nonetheless, friends and family still raised what they could to send her abroad to run the prescribed surgery and Chemotherapy. She made the trip abroad on her own without the husband accompanying her so it baffled me that even from a distance she still refused to give the go ahead to her friends who were soliciting funds on her behalf to reveal her identity so they had to keep begging without proof and that made the “begging” less productive.

The friend of hers who narrated the story told how they were together in Passport office trying to get her Visa and a respected public figure was in the vicinity and they went to the person to ask assistance, hell she said they sought assistance from random people coming for passport related issues they met there that day!

She returned to the country after treatment and unfortunately relapsed, her friends began raising new funds but before they could be raised, she translated to the great beyond.

A few days after her demise, friends went to pay tribute/visit to the widower, and the narrator said she was very upset getting to the house she had visited so often to see that it had been given a recent makeover and rearrangement, she was also upset that the groom who didn’t want people to know of his wife’s illness was suddenly painting all media platforms with doting words about his love for his wife.

My questions

1. If the man were the one plagued with a terminal illness, would he not have resorted to every and any avenue to raise funds in order to save his own life?

2. How long would “Daddy in the Lord” wait to replace the position of “Mummy in the Lord” if he even waits at all?

What does submission really mean? Are women created to be beings whose sole reason for creation is to serve and obey a husband?

So I hear and see ladies daily who reject career advancing offers on the basis of “my husband said”, but it’s extremely unlikely to see such being uttered by men. We hear men who daily argue that their wives should not work, and that reminds me now of my mother. Dad relentlessly tried to stop her from working on the basis that her salary was peanuts compared to his. Glad she didn’t quit her job as dad lost his job years down the line and didn’t find his feet back before he translated. I was barely 13 years of age and my brother maybe 11 years old when dad lost his gainful employment yet mum was able to see us through school with her “peanut” salary.

Lastly I hear and have been a victim of domestic violence, I have seen women who put up with it until they became a shadow of themselves. Hell what am I saying? I put up with it for 5 years until my camel back broke last week!

Dear husbands having a supportive wife is a privilege not a birthright. Don’t take them for granted.

Also, dear husband it should be your pride to see and encourage your wives to be whatever they “decide” to be. Not nag them and compare them to someone else’s spouse or some unmarried lady you know. Remember that your roles first is to love, protect and provide for the woman who you chose to marry (I believe you were not forced, even if you married because you got her pregnant, you were not forced to have the sex that led to the pregnancy now were you? Hahaha).

Love is proved in the hard times not the rosy!

So dear Ladies, you were not created to be a slave. Marriage wasn’t ordained to kill your dreams and visions. If that man doesn’t encourage, support or applaud your efforts and dreams, Madam Applaud yourself, dream bigger dreams, take little small steps daily, don’t feel like your efforts don’t matter because they do. As long as you keep moving, you keep getting up after a fall, speaking up and not remaining silent, learning from others who have taken the step you wish to take, soon you won’t recognize the past that was once your norm.

Today Sister decide to be THE STRONG WOMAN you were created to be and brother being A STRONG MAN isn’t by muscle flexing but by Integrity, wisdom, self control, love, faithfulness and having a corrective Spirit.

Happy Thursday all! There is something like that right? After all everyday is created to be enjoyed.

Keep Following my @mysurrogatetwins on instagram for ogbonge tori wey dey concern me.

Instagram: @mysurrogatetwins
Facebook:@mysurrogatetwins, @astrongnigerianwoman
Twitter:@mysurrogatetwin, A Strong Nigerian Woman YouTube:A Strong Nigerian Woman

2 thoughts on “Submit Unto Death.

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